


Azyung ni Ejuzer

by garafthel (sister_wolf)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sister_wolf/pseuds/garafthel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A master thief, a somewhat less successful thief, a guardsman, and a guard captain. Love is in the air (sort of.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Azyung ni Ejuzer

**Author's Note:**

> The title translates to "Love in Chains." Set in a fantasy-medieval but not Middle Earth setting, because I just really wanted to write both of my OTPs in a one-shot.

The jail cells of this town were really nice, Kili thought. Private cells with actual cots, not moldy piles of straw! Unimaginable luxury!

He expressed this thought to his neighbor across the way, a skinny, sardonic-looking man with long auburn hair and restless fingers. Kili decided to call him Ginger Thief for lack of a better name.

Ginger Thief raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. "Aye, very cozy, and quite difficult to break out of. An amateur like you had best get comfortable. You're going to be here for a while."

Kili huffed, sitting down on his cot with a thump. "I've got a way out. Just have to be patient."

The thief laughed. "Patient for five-to-ten, what?"

Kili resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at him. Then he did stick out his tongue at him, because why not--they were both stuck in locked jail cells. Ginger Thief rolled his eyes at him.

Sighing, Kili lay down and tried to nap since there was nothing else to do. He hoped Fili figured out how to rescue him soon because nice as this cell was, being stuck in jail was still incredibly boring. Definitely had to get better at not getting caught.

Their evening meal was brought by a huge, scarred mountain of a man with tattoos etched across his balding skull. Kili wouldn't have dared antagonize him--he looked like he could pulverize him with one giant fist--but Ginger Thief sauntered up to the bars of the cell and gave Mountain Man a positively filthy up-and-down look. 

"Let me know when you get off, handsome. Oh, wait, you won't get off till you're with me. What do you say?"

Mountain Man gave him a deeply unimpressed look. Ginger Thief didn't look at all discouraged.

Then it happened. A red-headed vision of beauty walked down the corridor of the jail, dressed in green silk and brown leather with two long knives sheathed on her belt. She looked deadly, precise, like the tension and stillness right before he released an arrow. She was the most beautiful woman Kili had ever seen. 

He was in love.

Without sparing Kili a glance, she asked Mountain Man, "Anything to report?"

Mountain Man shook his head. "Nothing but the usual nonsense," he said with a jerk of his head toward Ginger Thief's cell. 

The most beautiful woman in the world nodded without cracking a smile. "Very well. Carry on," she said, turning to leave.

Kili had to talk to her! What if he never saw her again? Fili was sure to get him out of this jail soon, and then they would have to get out of town until the heat died down. 

"Uh, excuse me, miss?"

She stopped, leveling him with a cold look from eyes as green as emeralds. "That's "Guard Captain" to you, prisoner."

"Ah, yes. Guard Captain, ma'am. Would you..." Kili suffered a sudden brain freeze, fumbling for words. The phrase "care to search my pants" came to mind, but fortunately he had just enough sense not to use it. "Care to go to dinner sometime? With me?"

"I don't dally with prisoners," she said flatly.

Kili tried on his most charming smile. "Yes, but I won't always be a prisoner. What do you say, dinner, you and me, a little stargazing later?"

She laughed, not unkindly Kili thought. "You are bold as brass, aren't you? The answer is still no, but nice try." With a slight smile that Kili tried to imprint on his memory so as to hold onto forever in the cold depths of night (every night would be cold without her in his bed), she nodded to him and turned to walk away.

Grasping the bars of his cell in his hands, Kili sighed dreamily to himself as he watched her long red braid swaying across her hips as she walked away.

"Behave yourself, prisoner. The Captain doesn't need trouble from wastrels like you," Mountain Man rumbled threateningly.

Kili swallowed hard. "Yes, sir."

"Ooh, Sergeant Dwalin, I do love it when you get all masterful like that," Ginger Thief purred. "Want to try ordering me around? I might even obey."

To Kili's shock, the big man's ears turned slightly pink as he glowered at the thief. "Watch yourself."

"I'd much rather watch you."

Sergeant Dwalin snorted--the sound rather reminding Kili of a displeased bull--and shook his head, turning to walk away. With a completely filthy-looking grin on his face, the thief languidly leaned against his cell door and watched the big man walk away.

"What is her name?" Kili asked the thief once they were alone again.

"Hmm?"

"The most beautiful woman in the world. The Guard Captain! What's her name?"

Ginger Thief shook his head, tutting under his breath. "You're never going to get anywhere with the Captain. Give it up now."

"Oh, like you're going to get anywhere with Sergeant Dwalin?"

A smile spread slowly across the thief's face into the most smug look Kili had ever witnessed on another human being. "Oh, I know I'm going to get everywhere with him. Fucked up, down, and halfway into next week."

Kili rolled his eyes. "You've got about as much chance of that as I do with getting a dinner invite from the Captain."

Ginger Thief grinned at him, his teeth gleaming sharply. "Oh, I don't know. Care to place a small wager on that, friend?"


End file.
